What to do?

I feel like it has been a while since I have written a blog. It is hard to believe that I have been in this house for four weeks. No that’s a lie, I did go to my garage on 6th once, but I was still at my house. Our trip to Florida is now a fading memory.

If you know me you know that I am a homebody. For the last few years, since starting a biologic for arthritis, I have been staying at home more. All you need to do is watch one of the many commercials for psoriatic arthritis and you will hear the many things that can happen to you as they list the side effects. Since I work from home, it is not odd for me to stay at home two or three days a week. I have been trying to avoid germs and getting sick for some time.

The difference is that now I can’t go out and have lunch with a friend, wonder around HomeGoods and Fresh Thyme and a host of other fun things. I can’t go out to happy hour with Johnny and Sadie. I miss those things, and other things in my life, but I don’t want to wish this time away.

Early on I was building puzzles like it was my job. I would spend two days putting it together and two minutes taking it apart. While it was a great time sucker, it didn’t help me to feel like I was doing something. I painted my living room end tables and I made a magazine bowl. Some days I don’t want to do anything. Without having any desire to do anything I am thinking ahead and know that I will be mad at myself, if at the end of all of this, I haven’t done anything productive.

I want to learn something from this experience. I want to dig deeper. Why is it that we all chose to be here on the planet at this time? There is a lesson being taught, but are we learning what that lesson is?

I have been praying a lot and doing a lot of Reiki. I spoke with a friend and told her I felt like I was grieving. I have had some times of deep sadness. I thought my grief was from actual death since March is a month that reminds me of what has changed in my life. But, no. This grief is for the loss of some of life’s freedoms that I took for granted. John asked me what I am going to do when I start seeing people again. I am a hugger. Shaking hands has never been a favorite of mine. Too many germs and when you have arthritis in your hands, well, it hurts. So, are my hugging days behind me?

We love to go to the theater. Will I be able to sit and enjoy Hamilton again knowing that there are so many people sitting around me?

There have been positives. I am appreciating the fact that even if it is only for a brief time, we have Sadie living back home with us. She comes down in the morning, grabs her coffee and breakfast and there are days that we don’t see her until dinner time. She is such a hard worker. I am so thankful to her boss who has purchased a large monitor for her and told her to stay put and work from home.

So, I think, collectively as the human race, we are to be learning something here. Covid19 isn’t picky. It will attack and kill anyone. It doesn’t care about your race, sexual orientation, religion or even how much money you have in the bank. It could kill you. This virus has us all sitting at home. Like Martin Luther King once said, “We may have all arrived on different ships, but we are in the same boat now.” So true.

The only thing that Covid19 has been kind to is the planet. There is less pollution. With all of us humans staying home the earth is having a little time to heal. That certainly is a good thing. Everything, if left alone, will return to it’s original state. That is certainly true about my hair.

Today I am making a to do list for myself. Things I want to accomplish during this time. My work has come to a screeching halt so my days are a blank canvas.

I hope that no matter where you are that you are safe and at peace. I hope that you are learning the lessons that are meant for you. I hope that you are able to find peace in this forced time.

All is well.






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