A life together.

This morning we are waking up to a sunny day.  That was not the case thirty-one  years ago today.  It was snowing.  In Pittsburgh.  In OCTOBER!

Yes, our wedding day did not start off on a good foot, as far as the weather was concerned, but, it has been thirty-one years and it has been a pretty good run.

This photo was the first photo taken of the two of us.  We worked together at the Residence Inn and we were “trying out” the new polaroid camera.  John took the photo.  We were clowning around together.   That was 33 years ago this month.

Clowning around with John is still my favorite thing.  We have had many moments together.  Some wonderful, some horrifying.  And many in between.  I am blessed.  John is my rock.  Steady and unshaken.  I lean on my rock often. He is still the kindest, nicest person I have ever met. He is the reason we raised such kind and caring children.  Nice people.

I love to laugh, and he makes me do that often.  Listening to John sing and play the guitar is my favorite thing to do.  I am happiest, home at the 407, with Johnny.  He lets me be me.

Life hasn’t always been easy, but no life is, or should be.  Johnny and I have been through many wonderful things together.  We experienced the birth and miracle of adoption, not just once, but twice.  We were honored and blessed that two birthmothers chose us to be their children’s parents.

We lived in two cities and three houses.  Between the two of us we lost a brother, two fathers, one mother and we buried our only son.  We did all of this, together.  That is the thing about a marriage.  If you don’t go through things together, your marriage will fall apart.

I remember shortly after Joe died, a well-meaning person told me that I had a 90 percent chance of my marriage failing. That most marriages can’t survive such devastation. I have thought a lot of thoughts over the last nine and a half years, but not once have I thought my marriage would fail.

When I was little, I remember my grandma telling me that when I pick a husband, I should choose wisely.  Wisely I chose.

My favorite poet, Kahlil Gibran says this about marriage:

On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

I love that poem!

Happy Anniversary, Johnny! I love you!



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